I'm going to try something a little different here on DA that i've never really done before. I thought i'd do a fully finished picture a day for the month of february and post it up. The type of picture will vary though. It may just be lineart or fully colored and rendered art, it may be cartoon-like in nature or something realistic (or as realistic as I can draw, lol). I dunno, I just feel like there's so much inspirational work out there that I could do that sort of stuff too. I have people tell me that I have cool sketches, I should just finish them. So as a way to prove to both myself that I can do it and to beef up my gallery somewhat I decided to put this challenge upon myself (and on a leap year too.). Might even get some portfolio worthy pieces out of it.

Wish me luck............if you're actually the one person who reads this, lol.

People are like plants, if you plant the right seed and be patient, they can bloom into something wonderful.

For everyone who read that last journal (which as far as I can tell was just one of you, lol), i'm in a better mood now. I was just in a grumpy place at the time that I wrote it. It just sucks that we have to have those moments in our lives where we just feel down about ourselves and are filled with self doubt and pity sometimes from our experiences in life. It makes me sort of envious of little kids who more or less do what they want when they want despite what people may think of them. All of our flaws as people come from life experiences be they intentional or not and while some change us for the better, it also can change us for the worst. In the end, it falls on our own individual shoulders on how we go through life and sometimes even if you don't feel like it, you still have to keep on going cause life isn't going to stop for you, so why should you stop for it. If nothing else, the fact that I even realize this means that I can and hopefully will still improve both from a art standpoint and a life standpoint as well.

In my last journal, I mentioned that I didn't think people REALLY believed in me and while looking back on it, I think that it's not so much that as it is me believing that just from my own self doubt and lack of putting myself out there as a artist. I'm improving on that though and I guess I just have to realize that everything takes time and it can't all just happen overnight despite me wanting it to. In the end life is about the journey and what you learn from it and despite the previous journal, i'm actually pretty optamistic about this year and what may come from it.

And special thanks to for the encouraging words in the last journal. Much abliged buddy.

So here I sit at work, bummed out at life and myself in general. I've been trying not to rant about my own personal problems as I come to the conclusion that there's no real point to it as a) It tends to come off as bitching and moaning to people i'd rather talk with in person than over some computer and b) no one really reads this journal i.e. gives a damn anymore (or at least that's how I see it). I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately and i've come to realize that i'm sort of aimlessly floating through life with no real understanding of where i'm going.

A Example would be how i've been told that I should get a new job by alot of my family members as it dosen't really have any benefits (which is true) and that i'm wasting time by doing art and should have something else on the backburner. While true, however, I just can't seem to figure out what I really want to do with my life. Drawing and art is the only constant I have and sometimes I wonder if i'm really doing anything with that. I mean I show my work and I get the usual "That's cool" or "I really like that" sort of enthusiam but out of all the people who say that to me, I only really believe about 20 percent of it. That's not to say that I think my work sucks cause it dosen't, but at the same time I don't think people are being totally honest with me either. Maybe it's my fault for not speaking up or maybe I need to change the type of artwork that i'm doing and push myself harder. It just feels like i'm starting to disappoint or not leave much of an impression on people.

I Wish I could figure it out. I was telling someone awhile back how I wished I could go back to being a kid with no worries or crazy bullshit coming from things going on in the world and just retain that innocence I had back when I was younger. I know this journal probably makes me sound depressed, but i'm not that so much as I am just disappointed in myself about the state i'm in. In some ways I kinda consider myself a loner. I want attention, but i'm too lazy to actually get it. I love doing art, but constantly question whether or not I can actually DO art. I don't know.........I try to cheer myself up, but it gets harder to do after awhile when you're the only one doing it.

There's a quote from a anime I saw recently called Tengen Toppa Gurren-Lagaan where one of the main characters says "DON'T BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!!!!. BELIEVE IN ME!!!! BELIEVE IN ME, WHO BELIEVES IN YOU!!!!!". My problem is that while people do like me, I don't think anyone really believes in me.

Well if nothing else maybe all this self pity will spill out into a cool drawing.

I didn't really pay attention to how long it's been since I last updated my journal. Wierd, but then I don't have many people who comment on these so it probably went unnoticed anyway. Well for the rest of you as the title says, i'm still around. Just kinda busy with working and my own life like most people. Still doing alot of drawing, just kinda hesitant to put stuff up lately since i've been hearing about a rash of art thefts here lately (the audacity to think someone would WANT to steal my art). I'll probably put some fan art stuff up though since alot of my hits and views seem to come moreso from that stuff. Anyway, just thought i'd update things here but enough about me...........what have you been up to?

Nothing really to say. Just felt like changing my journal. No one really sends me a message anyway, so what's the point . If you're reading this though, then why don't you tell me how YOU'RE doing...............really, I want to know.